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Hi! Thank you for visiting. I’m happy you made it. If you’re here it’s not an accident so let’s get to the point. You are parenting a teen addict. You might be scared, exhausted, and no one seems to have an answer or a concrete plan that actually helps. I know, you’ve got 20 names, twice as many emails, and even more phone numbers not titled out correctly probably either sitting in the pictures on your phone or scratched out on discharge paperwork on your kitchen table. Maybe you have an upset stomach and a lump in your throat from all the tears you’ve been swallowing. You’re in the right place. I was there and I might be again, this is addiction after all. I’m here to let you know, I’ve got shotgun and new seat belts, so buckle up buttercup, you’re driving.
This first blog is all about getting off the rollercoaster of addiction. You can’t leave the park, but you don’t have to go on the ride. If this is as far as you go with me, that’s okay. But please, for safety’s sake, let me at the very least assist you with getting organized.
Things you’ll need:
1- 3 ring, 3-inch binder, sheet protectors, dividers, loose note paper, a clip in waterproof pocket, a clip in 3 hole punch, and clip in first aid kit. This binder is going to go everywhere with you, pick one you like.
On the dividers: Section 1: A pic of your kiddo and a pic of your kiddo in active addiction. A copy of your insurance card, front and back, if you have it. The last annual PCP appointment with all updated immunizations. A list of all current medications and directions, a list of all allergies. An updated list of all professionals involved; PCP, Psychiatrist, therapists, DCF, parole officers, pharmacy, sponsors, school, and Guidance Counselor. You want the first and last name, address, phone, fax, and email.
Section 2: Medical- This is all discharge paperwork with the name of the institutions and/ or programs they’ve been in and the diagnosis given.
Section 3: Legal- This is any DCF or Police/ Parole/ DYS involvement. In here you will keep agency related paperwork and judgements that have come down from the courts. If you have an attorney, their paperwork goes on top. If you do not have an attorney and have paperwork in this section, I strongly suggest you get one. It’s worth the second job.
Section 4: School- Your kiddo’s Guidance Counselor is an untapped resource that throws life preservers. Get the prior and current year’s report cards, attendance, and disciplinary records. Schedule an appointment with the Guidance Counselor the moment you finish reading this. Your kiddo’s Guidance Counselor can help you protect your child’s future with minimal harm. My one tip… be honest with them, let them in, they’re there to help.
Section 5: Names and address of all the kids your kiddo is hanging out with. You want the parent’s names and numbers as well. Addiction loves to keep everyone isolated. Their friend’s parents are in the same place, reach out and build the bridge. You will want a list of where your kiddo likes to hang out and where they might go. Get more info from the other parents.
Get blue, black, and red pens. I like highlighters too because it makes it colorful and you can use the colors to organize info that you need to access quickly or often. The blue is for notes and ideas. The black is for pertinent information, dates, and appointments. The red is only critical incidents; hospitals, Police, and 911.
Get a scheduler, I like the ones with the month in view and the weeks and days with notes on the next pages. I found that the binder holds a lot of intense emotion and I needed a separate place to organize and schedule. Two different energies, two different books. I use my phone calendar as well with alarms, but I find that the scheduler becomes a journal. I’ve been able to extrapolate information and identify patterns with color coding. It was handy for the docs and clinicians.
A picture of your kiddo before the addiction really took hold and then weekly, (if you can), but definitely monthly pictures in active addiction. This is important information for the Police, Docs, and Clinicians, as well as yourself. Make sure your kiddo is in commonly worn clothing and if a girl, hair and makeup are a current cut and color. Get print outs at CVS or wherever you like. I keep 3 copies of each in the binder.
Things you need to do right now:
Call the School and set up an appointment with Guidance Counselor. You will want to have a meeting to identify the best path forward for homework, exams, grades, after school tutoring, and programs to connect with.
Call the PCP and get an appointment. You will want to have an appointment to sit down and talk about the addiction. Hopefully your teen is honest with the Doc, even if they’re not… it doesn’t matter. This will come in handy during Crisis. Addiction is a medical issue and not criminal. The criminal piece comes from the behaviors. You will get ahead of the criminal behaviors and you will need a section 12, medical, and only a Doc can 12. The courts are a section 35 and after a certain number of times, it goes DCF/DYS. There is an escalation on the clinical end as well as the addiction end. You will direct this where it needs to be, and that is medical.
Order some food and get your family together. Tell them you’re on to something. Tell them, and yourself, this nightmare is over. You, we, are going to figure out the best way to manage your loved one’s addiction without it stealing your love. The healing begins now.
As I said at the start, If this is as far as you go with me right now, that’s okay. The door is wide open, come back when you need to. If you like what I have so far and want more, click the button below and I will P.A.S.S it on to you.
